Falling in love while travelling – Do or Don’t?

It’s a fact that travelling brings people together. You’re on your own, in a foreign country, experiencing new, unforgettable things on an almost daily basis and the best part is that most people you meet will have similar interests as you. I don’t think I’ve met anyone who hasn’t had some kind of relationship story while travelling, whether it’s been a fling or the real, true deal. The question is, is it worth it?

Hearts in Sand

I read a comment on an online forum some time ago that said falling in love while travelling is brutal, but worth it. I love love. I’m a romance writer, so of course I do. I’m a hopeless romantic and I’m always filled with a warm glow when I hear about a love story that started thousands of miles away in some exotic place, and lasts. I was lucky enough to attend the wedding celebration of a French woman who met her now Australian husband travelling in Costa Rica. Proof enough that the possible heartache that comes with falling in love while being inherently transient is a possibility.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I’m happy enough to say that right now, as I’m writing this post, I’m in love. For the last two months, every day has been better than the last, with picture perfect moments that Hollywood would wet itself over. Having someone to share new experiences with is one of the best feelings ever, whether they’ve been good or bad. It’s been like living in a dream world with an infinite amount of time ahead of you.

But it isn’t infinite. Sooner or later, things have to change. People have to move on, whether you continue travelling together or not, or one of you returns to your home country. How do you know whether or not to continue on the path you originally had in mind when you first set out, or to see where this new romance takes you? When things are so uncertain in life, how do you know whether it’s worth adapting your plans to accommodate someone else? And, more importantly, how do you know that the love you’ve shared wasn’t just some by-product of being somewhere exotic and tropical – somewhere far away from your every day life? Realistically speaking, the experiences you share with a new partner in your regular setting back home (wherever that home may be) over the period of a few months, can be shared with someone while travelling in a matter of weeks. Especially if you’re spending every single day together.

When I left home, I had a firm plan of doing my shiatsu course, staying away from parties and generally being more focussed. Suffice it to say, life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. Instead, I’ve partied like a crazy person, found myself in one of these dream-like travel relationships and the shiatsu just wasn’t for me. Now, it’s getting ready to change again. In around two weeks time, the guy I’m with leaves for Nepal and a couple of weeks after that, I’ll be in Thailand – at least, that’s the plan. The question of whether our time together has been worth the inevitable heartache that’ll come when we eventually take different directions has popped into my head more than once. For me, I can honestly say that, yes, it has been. Whatever happens in the future, I know for a fact that at the very least, I’ve made a friend I’ll keep for life.

Have any of you experienced the dizzy feeling of falling in love on your travels? And what was the outcome? Do you think it was worth it, or do you think it’s better to stick by yourself and achieve whatever it was you hoped to achieve when you jumped on an plane to a far flung corner of the world?

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Deja vu, but new

Ok, so I’ve been very, very lax with my updates, but it’s hard to keep in touch when you’re busy chilling out all the time. Actually, that’s a lie. I’ve not been chilling too much. I’ve had deadlines, patchy internet and moved house. I think I’ve been to the beach three or four times since I’ve been here. Ho hum. In any case, I’m back in Arambol and having a major case of deja vu.

I guess it’s a pretty special place, in that there’s a core community of people who come here year after year, in some cases, the last two decades! So I’ve not been surprised to see so many of the people I met last year. In fact, I was banking on it. But, like most things, life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.

The people I hung out with last season are not the same people I’ve been hanging with this time around. I’ve seen them, spent a little time with them, but that’s about it. I suppose it’s a important lesson not to have any expectations of anyone, or plan around people too much. In the upside, I’ve made a bunch of new friends who have kept me thoroughly entertained.

And the deja vu? Well, I’m back in the Purple House, the same one I stayed in last time. But this time, I’m sharing with two awesome guys, German yoga teacher, Simon and Aussie surfer, James. And as of yesterday, German contact dance teacher, Anir. That is where the deja vu ends though. Even though I’m technically sleeping in the exact same room I did last year, most nights we’ve all slept on the balcony (pictures to come soon). Unlike last year, we’ve decorated it with mattresses, cushions and wall hangings and most of the time, we hang out there. Even though the surroundings are the same, the feelings are much, much more different.

I guess it all boils down to the saying that’s so prevalent throughout Asia. Same, same. But different.

🙂